I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize