I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
