Joe is yelling at the trees again.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
