Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
