i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
