is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
