his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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