Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
