I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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