i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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