Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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