dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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