I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
