they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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