Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How does one acquire holy water?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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