The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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