so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
being pregnant is like rehab
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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