do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
