Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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