Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I want a musical about memes.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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