i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
