why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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