Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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