if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
