i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
