But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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