Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
