Welp...herpes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
