quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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