Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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