sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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