so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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