i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
