Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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