We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.