Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
