okay pat passed out under dana's car
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.