Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  You work out of a Hotel?

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  (818): You work out of a Hotel? http://tfl.nu/4k8s
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (868)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'

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  (630): there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is' http://tfl.nu/8psl
  Replies (61) Good night (7585) Bad night (938)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

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  (615): Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka. http://tfl.nu/pwqr
  Replies (15) Good night (1111) Bad night (8149)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

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  (501): there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside http://tfl.nu/1bna
  Replies (85) Good night (7231) Bad night (986)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (54) Good night (74107) Bad night (2686)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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  (306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3
  Replies (23) Good night (5760) Bad night (3420)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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  (717): do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT http://tfl.nu/ci1u
  Replies (17) Good night (5898) Bad night (1346)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

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  (319): the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy". http://tfl.nu/gh3y
  Replies (9) Good night (4430) Bad night (1597)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?

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  (+44): I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions? http://tfl.nu/vtab
  Replies (7) Good night (2693) Bad night (1025)
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  (310): View more from California

  Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?

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  (310): Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow? http://tfl.nu/9403
  Replies (5) Good night (1744) Bad night (611)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.

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  (304): NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME. http://tfl.nu/yb98
  Replies (12) Good night (831) Bad night (1372)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.

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  (727): This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners. http://tfl.nu/f1o4
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (427)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.

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  (651): god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again. (508): I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended. http://tfl.nu/x893
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (357)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.

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  (519): I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again. http://tfl.nu/4ugu
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (609)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca

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  (301): i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca http://tfl.nu/knhd
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (136)

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