Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.

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  (905): You had a beer at 10:30 this morning? (1-905): Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol. http://tfl.nu/apvz
  Replies (30) Good night (3865) Bad night (648)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.

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  (610): I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain. http://tfl.nu/693g
  Replies (16) Good night (954) Bad night (4318)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.

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  (610): craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus. http://tfl.nu/0q2j
  Replies (11) Good night (2872) Bad night (1152)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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  (816): I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science http://tfl.nu/uxxs
  Replies (20) Good night (3632) Bad night (776)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.

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  (206): Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order. http://tfl.nu/s8w4
  Replies (4) Good night (3252) Bad night (923)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.

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  (778): Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/0up7
  Replies (17) Good night (3946) Bad night (1505)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?

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  (917): How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German? http://tfl.nu/lobs
  Replies (11) Good night (1688) Bad night (1191)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.

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  (330): We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner. http://tfl.nu/1e2r
  Replies (2) Good night (1832) Bad night (652)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?

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  (318): would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase? http://tfl.nu/h5qz
  Replies (6) Good night (1452) Bad night (984)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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  (303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6
  Replies (3) Good night (483) Bad night (1245)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods

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  (419): Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods http://tfl.nu/bin2
  Replies (4) Good night (1006) Bad night (414)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.

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  (780): So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/pwvq
  Replies (5) Good night (1628) Bad night (311)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.

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  (415): I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings. http://tfl.nu/ozbw
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (233)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.

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  (813): It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis. http://tfl.nu/yjsc
  Replies (7) Good night (394) Bad night (714)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Didn't you used to babysit him?

  (607): View more from New York

  18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.

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  (603): Didn't you used to babysit him? (607): 18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine. http://tfl.nu/bfck
  Replies (8) Good night (1461) Bad night (334)

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