Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

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  (203): just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you http://tfl.nu/8puo
  Replies (39) Good night (19591) Bad night (1056)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

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  (225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o
  Replies (36) Good night (6220) Bad night (802)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

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  (412): im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems. http://tfl.nu/58jb
  Replies (17) Good night (723) Bad night (2662)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.

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  (678): When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick. http://tfl.nu/i6to
  Replies (23) Good night (6040) Bad night (1227)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.

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  (586): She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/cn93
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (4082)
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  (818): View more from California

  The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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  (818): The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/zk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (1940) Bad night (3535)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.

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  (575): I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm. http://tfl.nu/2mds
  Replies (8) Good night (1394) Bad night (1317)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.

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  (717): Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself. http://tfl.nu/4nxp
  Replies (10) Good night (2030) Bad night (706)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.

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  (902): Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure. http://tfl.nu/e9kb
  Replies (9) Good night (1913) Bad night (392)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"

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  (614): We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us" http://tfl.nu/w1ue
  Replies (1) Good night (1098) Bad night (355)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened

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  (904): show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened http://tfl.nu/zata
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (491)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.

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  (248): The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager. http://tfl.nu/apbs
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (508)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...

  (512): View more from Texas

  Cross faded me is not the classiest.

  (817): View more from Texas

  No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that

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  (512): I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed... (512): Cross faded me is not the classiest. (817): No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that http://tfl.nu/rzqz
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (273)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.

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  (804): the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots. http://tfl.nu/qdeq
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (376)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.

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  (401): Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media. http://tfl.nu/q9vk
  Replies (6) Good night (364) Bad night (196)

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