Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize