Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
