Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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