it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
