It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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