Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
