He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
