Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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