respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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