cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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