Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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