Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
