dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
