This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
