I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
