apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The Olympian is in my bed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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