Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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