honey bunches of taint.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
