im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
