I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize