if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
