The brown eye won't let me do that either.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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