carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
