community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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